My experiments with Ms Lizzie !

This was actually a mail written to my neighbour room mate by me

hi da Vijay ..

the entire hostel had a bath of sorts .. courtesy ur bathroom tap !
Lemme begin from the beginning .

i was in ur room reading ‘The economic times’. things were going on pretty smoothly. simulataneosly i was infact recollecting a couple of Biz quiz facts .. infact this was the exact one ” Mitchell baker of Mozilla Corp – is also known as the chief lizard wrangler” .. Was shaken awake by a dull thud just to see that real big lizard that u guys grow in the bathroom lying centimeters from my left foot. i observed that it must be carrying a huge family in its tummy .. it was that REAL BIG !!!!

neither of us moved. Both of us wanted read the other’s move and then react accordingly .. oh yes it was a “game theory” of sorts .. he he !! but my kind friend, i was scared !!!!!!! u know how big it was ..??

now both of us reacted at once .. the poor big lizard was scared too .. it went to the main door and started climbing on it and then fell back to the ground .., now i had my heart in my mouth .. i din know where to go or if should open the door …my head went blank, i climbed on the bed .. now i had tht idea !!! why not lead Ms Lizzie bak to her home – the crevice near the bathroom geyser . and shut de door .. So with my periodic “shoo” s and occasional hesistan waving of the economic times, i was able to lead it to the bathroom.. u thought the episode was over.. Ms Lizzie had something more in store for me !

She fell down again and this time i had nowhere to run within the 2ftX2ft bathroom of ours !!!

and then i saw it .. the tap .. ) and off my legs went on to climb the tap and narrow supporting pipe .. i somehow was able to balance myslef for a second . But still no sign of Ms. Lizzie moving .. She was there right in the middle of the floor staring at me and still not knowing where to go ..she cudnt see her own home. kannu kolaaru nu nenakiren .. ” Enna Sothanai Saravanan ithu “

now for the climax .. off came the tap with a loud thud taking the cleanly rusted narrow pipe along with it .. i never knew i was so heavy and u shud see how water gushed out of it ..the gush of water just laughed off my half hearted attempts at putting back the pipe in place .. panic time !!!

Water filled the bathroom , Room numbers 55,56, the entire floor and then cooly transformed itself into a waterfall cleaning all the four staircases along the waydown to the basement .. Fire fighting kelvi paturupe .. but iniki i and the security guy had to do water fighting for 30 mins ..intha commotionla Ms. Lizzie escape aayiduchu.. Or dunno if poor Missie was washed away in the floods .. By calling it floods, Mr. Vijay, am not joking here .. Knee deep water in a fifth floor room !! .. And hey ! i saw ur socks that u were searching fr the other day, floating away to glory .. prbly must have been hidden under the bed..
 
Ms Lizzie konjam overweight vera, exercise panren nu etho try panniruku. athoda weight eh thaanga mudiyaama keela vilunthuduchu paavam.. yaara ithelaam exercise panna sonna .. mooditu geyser pinaadi ukaara vendiyathu thaane .. oru palli naale evalo peruku vela ?? (

Phew !!!

damage control was kind of done pretty late shutting off the valve, by that time half the tank was empty .. ))

Yours
Sriram

GUJJAR-ed – all for a free (OC) trip to chennai !

“We’ll make the arrangements on Monday” – those were the last words of my guide on Friday. He was referring to my probable trip to Chennai for a couple of days. Those words were enuff for me to enthusiastically leave for hostel by 1 pm itself. Much of the weekend passed with me dreaming of how to surprise my folks back home with a sudden entry.
Yesterday night i was into bed early. Afterall i dint want to repeat the same old mistake again. (The mistake – Waking up by 11.30 am and calling off the day as it would be too hot to travel to and from Gurgaon). Monday morning and everything was falling in place – Got up by 7.45 and i was in the Adchini bus stop by 8.30. the usual waiting time to get a cab is 10-15 mins. Travel time – 30 mins. and then meet the guide. “Hey, what if he asks me to travel today itself” ? Wud be great na ..

Thinking of all the above, i was still waiting for the cab and it was 9.15 now. Not a single cab has stopped. All those Call-center cabs driving with those tight-ly clad hotties just whizzed past us. Worse, not a single bus to Gurgaon today as well. the crowd was getting bigger now. Now a brainwave struck me .. What if i go further along the route and take a bus from Mehrauli. — ( Adichini to meharauli – time — 5 mins and mehrauli to gurgaon 25 mins .(atleast am getting closer to Gurgaon … He he ))

I was greeted by a huge crowd at the Mehrauli Bus station. that was when i came to know that there was something wrong in the Mehrauli-Gurgaon Road. the gujjars had by then set fire to 2 buses, accompanied by lots of stone pelting and stuff. another 45 minutes waiting there .. No bus. No cab. the Laptop bag seemed to grow heavier by the second.

Managers need to make decisions. thus i made a decision – go back to hostel, take a friends’ bike and then whiz to Gurgaon. Scretly chukling at the evergrowing crowd at the bus-stop i took an auto back to hostel. only to find no bikes were available ..

11.00 am and am back to square one – adichini bus top .. if only i had stayed there itself i might have got a cab (which wud have reached gurgaon, taking all the diversions). surprisingly there arrived a cab, summoning all my strength i was able to get a seat. poor driver fella, he was blissfully unaware of all the arson and he proceeded in the same Mehrauli-Gurgaon Road. he prbly was a lazy driver, when asked to take diversion, he bluffed the police and got back to the ill-fated road. the road was literally empty, there had to be something fishy.

we then reached ayanagar, which was 2 kms from Gurgaon. Wat a sight that was ! 2 buses burning away to glory. the car was stopped right there. Police said no vehicles can go beyond this point. But people can go by foot .. 2 kms by foot @ 12 noon in 40+ degrees .. All for an OC trip to chennai ( !!!

halfway through the walk, i met them !! those 20-odd mis-creants who had set fire to the buses. the last time i have seen such huge ppl was when i saw WWF wrestling. All of them wer literally shouting choiciest of the auspcious words in the hindi dictionary on the 15-odd passrs-by (walkers – including me ) .. thank god i dint know Hindi .. wasnt it scary ? it was .. All for an OC trip to chennai ( !!!

Finally reached office @ 12.30 – a good 4 hrs since i started from hostel (the usual time wud have been one hr from delhi to gurgaon).. Beaming with self-confidence that i have braved all odds to reach office, i walked straight to my guide’s cabin. He wasnt there.. his neighbour told me “ur guide is on a leave today” .. Those were the words !!!!!

all for an OC trip to chennai !
Sriram

IIT – Kanpur Experience

For Quizzers

Qns

A few Prelims qns:

1) It is easier to be a Billionaire in US than in Britain. Why ?
In UK a million million is one billion, while in US it is 1000 million

2) Which motor companies’ logo is referred to as ‘Bow Tie’ ?
Chevrolet

3) Which Canine breed is named after a tax collector?
Doberman

4) Which Companies’ tagline is ‘Better Sound through Research’ ?
Bose

5) Almost 4.3% of milk prod in Ireland is used for ?
making of Bailey’s Irish Cream

6) official car of French President?
Citroen

7)Which language was named ‘Oak’ by founder James Gosling ?
JAVA

Which clothes brand gets its name from the Wild West term for a cow hand who rustles up stray cattle?
Wrangler

9) Which software giant of the eighties from the favourite yogic asana of founder Mitch Kapur ?
LOTUS

10) Which Country’s ad campaign has the line ” Where the bloody hell are you? “
Aussie !

11) MTV’s Film division tying up with ADAG – What is its name ?
Fully Faltoo Films

12) In the NYSE, The change of curve from a bear to bull run is commonly known as a ____ ___ Rounded bottom pattern
Jennifer Lopez

13) This co was founded in 1923 as ‘Ideal’. Its Core business was manufacturing of head phones. If the Head phones came through quality tests, they wud be given a ‘blue dot’ or a ____ . the quality symbol later became the company name in 1938. Which co ?
Blaupunkt

14) What was updated on the occasion of its 70th anniversary and features the following (among others) Toyota prius, New Balance Shoe, McDonald’s French Fries, Labradoodle, Motorola RAZR, Lap top etc ..
The board Game of MonoPoly

For Readers:

Joy Bhattarya (or bhattacharjee, am not sure ) of ESPNSTAR is also a good quiz master. So he was to conduct a Corporate quiz on 7th April @ IIT-Kanpur, as a part of their fest MEGABUCKS 2007. As the name would suggest, The event promised Mega bucks. Now quizzers are smart people, who claim that they quiz for the joy of quizzing. Cut a zero from the prize money and you’ll know the truth

Thus dumping all my stuff into that magic bag of mine, i left for kanpur, hopeful of some podium finish. The train reached kanpur an hour late, quite acceptable by Indian Railways’ standards. ( now friends, being a tamil guy, i rarely had an opportunity to learn hindi. my hopes of learning hindi @ IIFT were shattered by the huge Tamil junta thats here with me. Or in short, i dont know hindi ! ) Now it was quite a tuff time to even tell people around that i needed to go to IIT. i thought that was the only notable landmark in Kanpur, and a couple of locals whizzed past me answering me that no such college existed by IIT in kanpur !

now an empathetic on-looker came towards me and told me syllables i needed to stress to let people know that it is IIT. it is supposed to sound “aaaaaaai aaaaaaaaaaai Teee” it seems. hmm lots of things remain to be learnt in this world huh. Wow ! more bad news ! 7th of April is coincidentally the day of UP elections. No buses/autos plying. Tom hanks in philadelhia says “every problem has a solution” .. Oh yeah !

20 mins since the train arrived and i am still in the Kanpur railway station getting views and opinions on how to reach IIT.

Can i also blog ?

hello folks,

i have always been commended by my previous employer for my written communication skills. (Atleast thats what i put in my resume, as i dint do much during my 1 yr stint with the SW giant ) . My back is numb with the amount of pats that i have received for my creative masala writing. Blogging should be a natural way forward ) . So here i am out of my self-made strong cocoon of inertia and laziness to BLOG ! No essays, no abstract poems which convey nothing .. just plain narrative writing and yes – a couple of quizzes, with some Masala strewn for some spice. Now that this blog is about both quizzing and stories, the quizzers need to bear with my stories and the readers need to bear with my quizzes. (of course, no one’s gonna stop u from skipping .. he he )

Keep Watching this space ! and keep praying that i should not get back to that inviting cocoon of mine )